I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
