I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
