I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
