My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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