i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
