My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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