Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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