Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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