I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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