Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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