i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
