i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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