take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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