he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
