Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
