She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
