I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
