she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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