She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
