yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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