Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
