Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
