hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
