Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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