he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found the puke drawer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
