So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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