Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
