TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
