Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
