dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
