If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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