From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
