I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
