I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you win again, gameday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
