mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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