I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize