six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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