ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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