I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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