that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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