No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
