I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My vagina is officially offended.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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