I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
