i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
