I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize