My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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