She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He called his prostate his "boner button".
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!š
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
