If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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