I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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