pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
