i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Say something about gay babies.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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