This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
