just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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