Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize