all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
