McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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