she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
