I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize