uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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