Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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