I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
